stirrings

i think i am about to start a spiritual journey.
i am starting. i have started.

i feel i am ready for this.
excited even.

i think its time to stop just existing. and holding on.
to begin to search again for hope.
to learn how to hold hope for others,
not just problem solve.

it will require a lot of contemplation.
a lot of learned meditation.
and maybe some dancing...
(and possibly roller derby).

i don't kid myself that it will happen quickly.
or ever end. or even be apparent.

but i know that something has to change.
and i have to start making some changes.
and i know i need some help on the way.

so i'm excited....
maybe i'll use this as a forum to reflect on...
or maybe paper is better, we'll see...
but. i want to make sure i don't just let it slip away.