tagging along

i really did not know what this journey would involve
we say no expectations
and i realize how unrealistic that expectation is

i guess i expected a revelation
or inspiration
i thought it would fill me up
or make me less lonely
and grumpy
i thought it would refresh me, bless me,
upset me
(i wasn't really trying to rhyme, i promise)

but in the way of it all... things come together
this random journey of ours
which has led me to a random coffee shop in pittsburgh
surrounded by people who are all familiar with each other
enjoying a potluck and applesauce cook off.

we got off the bus here. neither of us knowing a thing about
pittsburgh
(besides the penguins)
and not knowing who we were here to see
instant hugs as we left the amtrak station
e-connections and new friends
with loaned bicycles and late-night brownies
and similar paths with troubled kids....
i marvel at the kindness of strangers
and the lack of strangeness
(although i still won't stop at the fire hall to fill up a tire)

i have learned many things that i already know

that i don't like to stop and ask directions
that i can be quite, and mostly, selfish
that i really don't need to shower but i get smelly
that i like to spend money on food but not books
that train really is the only way to travel

(and much more, i'm sure)

but i have also learned some new things

that conversation can come easily at times
that relational connections are very powerful
that pieces of life can come together in ways unknown ( http://quenchthethirst.org/)
that medicinal herbs and the inner city do mix
that people are quite friendly in the strangest of places
that slim jims are almost as readily received as a handful of change
that vanilla coke zero is as good as diet vanilla coke - who knew?
that serving and living where you are is as radical as anything
that the real adventure is developing lasting relationships where you are
that intentional community is an experience in learning to love each other
that we're doing o.k.


okay, so none of that sounds too profound
and that might be the point of it all

we didn't really experience anything radical

our prayer was that we could go and be a blessing to those we met
that we would have opportunities to serve
that we wouldn't be a burden to those we stumbled upon
that God would provide connections and opportunities
that we would learn about ourselves and our place and future plans
that we would meet and learn from people and find a space for dialogue
(okay, so maybe those weren't all conscious prayers, but thoughts that filled the background of our minds as we ventured forth)

we had heard of Kensington, and had the chance to serve on Kensington
we had the chance to see and weed in Camden
we saw random history museums
met doctors and caretakers in hostels
gave out a few slim jims
ate some delicious pretzels (but no cheesesteaks)
drank lots of chai
and had some pretty good chats...

of course this is all distilling.
and the outcomes and content aren't yet obvious
(what good things ever are?)

but i feel more rested
and think it'll be okay to carry on
especially feeling privileged to be in school,
when even in this rich land, some kids will never have a chance
and i think that we're doing okay

not that this trip has promoted complacency
and not that it has lit a passionate fire that'll fuel for years
but there have been sparks and stoked embers...
encouragement to 'keep on, keeping on'
that living it out... in simple ways.... is the only way....
not that macro issues aren't important
and not that justice is not critical....
but we keep asking questions and seeking....
seeking to love those in our community (neighbours, roommates, husbands-if-you've-got-em, family)
which is really so so hard and harder still....

but being intentional is important
and that was a good reminder
and i think i like gardening more now
and i think things make a little bit more sense
or a little less
or at least there's a little more peace
in the process

okay, this is far too long, and there's more to say

so this is a break-------------------------------