just frustrated enough

well, i guess i am finally frustrated enough to actually write something here

sometimes when its late, you just want to vent to someone...
and i guess this world is as good as any... for now...

i just get so frustrated...
and maybe its my toothache...
or just that time of the month...

or maybe because the end is near...
too close... and not fast enough...

but i'm just tired...
tired of being lied to
tired of yelling and not being heard
tired of being disappointed
tired of watching bad choices take their toll
i'm just tired...

man, i love these kids
and that's why it hurts so bad sometimes...
and i'll miss them when they're gone...
but they can break your heart, make you smile, piss you off... all in a matter of moments.

i know i know,
its all part of being a parent...
and maybe that just happens when you give birth...
but man, i don't know...

of course, in the end...
the good outweighs the bad...
the love outweighs the manipulation...
the hugs outweigh the evil glares....

until then though...
i'm just tired

maybe it'll work this time

so, i wanted to create a blog... just because...
i don't want to write anything...
i don't really want to share...
but i thought 'what the heck'... 'i'll be cool' right?
didn't work last time,
should have taken that as a sign...
we'll see